Thursday 12 March 2020

The...future?



It's the topic on everyone's lips, the question everyone's asking (but don't want to be asked). What are you doing next?

I have put a lot of pressure on myself,  having watched my peers decide to move in together, put down deposits to rent a place in Leeds as a professional. Staying in Leeds seems the most natural step for a lot of people. Surely there'll be loads of opportunities! Hahaha!!!! 

Every day I have been in Leeds has been spent trying to find a way out of it. Everyone I speak to about it says it's a great city, but in true Marie Kondo fashion, it absolutely does NOT spark joy in me at all. Every day feels like wading through thick tar, the bleakness makes me feel like i'm constantly wearing cold wet socks. I am positive and glad I haven't chosen a path for next year, and not out down any firm roots. I'm in two minds about staying- having never liked it, what's the point, when there's adventure out there? However,  all my friends are here... am I brave enough to go, and be without them, start new? 

Career wise, I know that I need a structured role. My self discipline and motivation to work as a freelancer is weak, and from where I'm sitting, freelance illustration looks like a lonely, unreliable place. especially for someone who finds no joy in tax returns, networking and editorial briefs. 

I know I want a PAYE job, but have massive commitment issues. I want to use my skills,  and not give up my practice entirely, but find a way I can balance that work/play love of creating, but without the pressure of paying bills and food attached. I have such a desire to collaborate in a creative, non-exhausting, hands-on role, but in what is the question? 

I've always considered going into Art Therapy/Play Therapy. It looks fulfilling, there are plenty of job openings, and I think it's a role where I could actually make a difference. However, it takes 2 more years of education, which not only can i not afford, but also I genuinely can't be bothered right now. I am so done with education for the time being, and I want to really get to grips with working life- any change will be refreshing after spending the last 18 years in full-time education. Also, note, that someone said that it is a role which is so mentally draining/causes instability, that people generally only last 2 years (ish) in that job anyway. So if it takes 2 years to train, and 2 more to drop out of it... not really a long term plan with a happy ending. 

I have considered teaching, however, as above, I don't want to spend more time re-training for a new role. I would like to work with younger children ideally, maybe in a play-group? however this feels a lot like settling down, which i'm not ready for either. Plus you need an Early Years EYE Level 3 qualification, which can be accessed online for £340, and takes up to a year to complete. And, I Really Don't Want To. 

The other option is moving to a big city like London or Edinburgh, and getting a role in a creative industry there. Starting somewhere new. Perhaps get a part time job (that doesn't zap my happy energy) and be a freelancer part time, so i'm not too worried about the financial aspect but still grow and develop my practice. 

Right now, all I want to do is travel, or live and work abroad. I am looking forward to the opportunity to explore while I can, before families and babies and houses tie me down. I wanna do something that seems worthwhile, whilst doing it though. There are many schemes where you can love abroad volunteering/working for your keep, which seem like an opportunity, because why not? but, am I brave enough? I've been looking at schemes which help you set up abroad, help get you visa's and travel, and set you up to look for jobs. Even doing something like grape-picking would be a much appreciated change of lifestyle/scenery, and making new friends. I feel like it's valid to want, if not need, to take a little break from the creative industries. At the moment it all seems so serious, and I need some headspace away from it for a while so I can really come back to it with a fresh mind, new experiences and new stories to tell: so I remember why I love doing it, and find the joy in it again.  

I would love to keep stocking work in shops, selling work online, doing craft and print fairs, making work for passion projects and not feel the pressure. And also (mid-term goals) have a PAYE job that doesn't consume me, my time, me freedom or my creative juices whole. Slurrrrrp. 

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Hello! -my practice as established -  I am a printmaker, storyteller, multidisciplinary, low-fi artist. Not what i expected to becom...